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| Issue No 112 |  |
21 September 2001 |
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Tool ShedWhere You Bin, Jackie?
Howard pin-up girl Jackie Kelly checks into this week's Tool Shed with a performance that carries all the hallmarks of an exercise in Trans-Tasman political terrorism. ********************* It was Yellow Canary who this week dismissed the gruesome impact of Ansett's collapse on the Australian tourism industry as "just a little blip". She also publicly backed plans by Qantas to sideline Ansett workers by leasing international aircraft. And as the final punch-line, she described the current climate of global fear and loathing that has plunged the aviation sector to the brink of the abyss with the priceless observation that air travel has "never been safer or more well priced". Seasoned Canberra-observers have described the Question Time performance as vintage Kelly - "an unusually unsophisticated politician". Her oratory style in the House is as over-stated as it is ineffectual - delivered with all the rhythm of a stand-up comedienne in search of a punch-line that never comes. Some have likened it to the stream of consciousness that made Joh Bjielke Petersen a household name. Kelly holds the western Sydney seat of Lindsay, and has been up to her neck in trouble this week for manufacturing a Law and Order pamphlet, with purports to show that the Opposition leader supports drug liberalisation. To prove it she has reproduced a headline from the Australian Financial Review which reads "Drugs, terror and dud bills ... oh dear, leader Kim". What it doesn't point out is that the headline refers to the North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il and not Bomber Beazley. The pamphlet has been referred to the Australian Electoral Commission with a view to breaching guidelines for publicly funded material. It's clumsy cloak and dagger stuff, that has become Kelly's modus operandi and turned her into a political joke. Mere incompetence? Or is there something more sinister going on? Could the Yellow Canary be a member of a secret cell group, placed into the Australian community to weaken it from within? Consider the facts: - born in Upper Hutt and raised as a New Zealander, she enters Australia amongst a wave of economic refugees. - on arriving in Australia lies dormant for several years, before joining a paramilitary organisation calling itself the Air Force - links up with a secretive far-right group, the Liberal Party of Australia (LPA) and stands for public office, while concealing her true citizenship status. - opens her home to LPA operatives, who register themselves as residents, even though they live in other parts of the country. - makes high-level contact with government by manipulating a Mata Hari-type attraction with the nation's leader. - unleashes a program of confusion over the site of Sydney's second airport, advocating 12 separate sites, including a floating runway off the coast! - meanwhile, evidence emerges that other Kiwi plants infiltrate Ansett and meet with Kelly who offers them 'absolute' support for their plans. - on the designated day, her cell is activated and the New Zealanders withdraw from Ansett, Kelly strategically in place to ensure that noone in government lifts a finger in its defence. What emerges is a profile of a masterful economic terrorist who masquerades as a political dope. As we move to secure our national borders at time of geopolitical crisis we must make the removal of Kelly from her western Sydney stronghold and bring her to account for her crimes against the Australian community. Send in the SAS, its time to attack the enemy within!
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   Interview: Exit InterviewMichael Costa looks back at his 14 years with the Labor Council to chart the highs, the lows and the bits in between. Parliament: Opening SalvoIn his Maiden Speech, delivered this week, Costa gave vent to his views on immigration, Marx, globalisation and mental health. Scandals: My Evil TwinCo-conspirator and 'intellectual soulmate' Mark Duffy recounts the legendary 'Leaked Paper' Affair and how its predictions soon came to pass. Politics: An Agent for ChangeFormer secretary Michael Easson argues that Costa was instrumental in redefining the factional balance in NSW in the wake of the Cold War. Review: The Thoughts of Chairman MCNeale Towart trawls the collected works of Michael Costa and looks at his love-hate affair with Marx. Factions: Kyoto SunsetNaomi Steer - the first left-winger to work at Labor Council in decades - recalls how she discovered the real Michael in a Karaoke lounge. History: A Proud TraditionFormer Premier Barrie Unsworth argues Costa enters Parliament as the best qualified Labor Council leader ever to make the transition. Psychology: The Man Behind the MaskCosta's predecessor Peter Sams argues that behind the bluff facade lay a loyal and caring friend. Seduction: Michael and MeChris Christodoulou recounts how Costa convinced him to cross the factional divide and take up residence in Sussex Street. Satire: Ode to LeonLong-time sparring partner, Peter Botsman submits this lyrical tribute to Costa's career.
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